Day 1 (Picture and How I feel)
Physically – Well the bitter cold has kept me from my jogging routine. That and the delicious cooking of my darling wife has me feeling… quite fat. Other than that really no complaints (except for some prostate issues, but really who wants to hear about my prostate?).
Mentally \ emotionally – As I contemplated this I actually got a slight sensation of nausea in my gut.
This past weekend at church our minister wished my family a Merry Christmas even though he knew it would be a difficult one having just lost my father.
This and an approaching horrible anniversary date got me thinking about life and death. For those of you that do not know me or do not know me well – a little over 4 years ago my on again off again girlfriend woke me up to watch her end her life by putting a bullet in her brain. I often wonder if in the last few minutes of her bi-polar tormented life if she contemplated taking me with her.
I’m still sad that she ended her all too short life (29 years). I’m still rocked by the occasional horrible dream of her. But I’m thankful that she not only spared me, but in a way – saved me.
I’ve changed so much since that awful night. With the help of God, friends and family (especially my wife Susy - the biggest blessing in my life) I’ll continue to grow and become closer to the man I want to be.
So in closing I invite you all to check out this website. This organization is one of my favorite causes and helped me cope when I needed a reason to go on. Please donate a few bucks if you have the means.
God bless to you and yours and to all those you have lost.
R.I.P. – M.A.B. (1-19-06)
W.L.B. (10-17-10)
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