Tis the Season (even in jail)

Well it is December 12 and I have put lights around the roof of my home for the first time in my life!  On my first attempt I got the first string totally up before I realized I started with the wrong end of the strand of lights.  So off they came and back up the other way.  I grab the next string and find out the one strings prong is not compatible to the other's plug in thingy.  So I take that first strand off yet again and put up 2 compatible strings.  I did it with very few temper tantrums and I only almost fell off the ladder like 7, or 8 times.  And I must say the house looks pretty good all lit up.

Anyway I'm trying real hard to get the Christmas spirit and working in a jail is an easy way to keep things in perspective.  God is great.  Life is good, great in fact the 128 hours a week away from work.

So here are a couple of poems(?) I wrote during the past two Christmas seasons while I was bored at work in jail:

Not a creature was stirring except the roaches and rats
Lurking in dark corners as big as fat cats
My cell sure is cold on this chilly Christmas Eve
And my blanket is itchy, its the crabs I believe
So between the scratching I try to get some sleep
And dream of a new year and better company to keep
The guards are so mean and joke "enjoy your stay"
In the "Hotel California" with your cellies "Pookie" and "Ray Ray"
So I spend all my time with pimps, cons and thieves
Watching Bernie Mac on the "W - B"
I get so depressed and I start to lose hope
I pray for escape and to not drop the soap
Or maybe the judge will grant me parole
And save whats left of my poor man bung hole
But I know its far fetched and I'll be off to the pen
To meet Leon or Bubba and be his girlfriend
My cellie's wish for Christmas - some shampoo and a shank
He's in for 20 for robbin a bank
Me Santa, I have but one wish
Please don't make me some murderer's bitch
So Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight
And stay out of Jail - you'll all be all right!

______________

For Christmas I received no gifts, for New Years no bubbly

I got pinched on Thanksgiving so I'm looking at 10 to 20

When I was a boy I had a rebellious heart

Mom and Dad knew I was trouble from the start

The difference between good and evil I gave little thought

Because nothing was wrong unless you got caught

Then as I aged the Devil took control

A world full of booze and drugs stole my soul

My strong will was shattered – my future sunk

Now I sleep next to a toilet on a cold steel bunk

Please don't pity me – Alas I chose my path

Now for all of my sins I await God's wrath

So think of me as you ring in the New Year

Be happy – be healthy – God bless and take care.

Happy Holidays Everyone