Baseball, the Church and Beavis and Butthead

Last Thursday Sue and I attended a church outing to the White Sox game.  It was a good game but it was partially spoiled by three young men that somehow were planted in the center of our church's group of seats and specifically right behind our seats.  They were very loud and SUPER obnoxious.

Now as a former young, super obnoxious fan, I would not have paid these guys any attention had it been just me with a buddy.  But being there with my church group and my wife I was on edge.  I knew that if Beavis and the two Buttheads crossed the line it would be my responsibility as a peace officer to try to maintain the situation.  Luckily the little rascals got close but never crossed the line of being obnoxious fans to disturbing the peace.

I truly hate my job but for now it is my job, and with it comes a responsibility to the community.  For me it’s a struggle to know when to “announce my authority” (for lack of a better way to put that) in a situation and when to just let that situation play out.  There is really a fine line between flaunting your authority and shirking your duty.  I pray for my wisdom and my fellow officer’s wisdom in making these decisions.  I also pray for understanding from those that are not burdened with these decisions and therefore may have never considered the weight of these choices.

So I’m approaching my 7^th year anniversary at my job here at the county.  I’ve come to realize it is totally a job of contradictions.

There is only boredom and aggravation.  Fortunately I am easily amused so between reading, writing, and unauthorized computer usage I am quite good at battling boredom.  Aggravation on the other hand… not so much.

Fear is a bad thing. Like dogs and bees criminals can sense fear.  Do - not show fear or you will feed the fire.

Fear is a good thing.  Without fear there is bravado.  Bravado promotes carelessness, never a good thing.

Ode de le’ Sheethole

How can something so easy be so trying at the same time?

Work bordering on the mundane yet somehow stressful and tense

Fear is the enemy, but without it a different vulnerability shows

Without fear caution wanes and danger shows its teeth

An ugly mixture of security and insecurity pose like a runway model

Walking so gracefully but steps away from a twisted stumble

Fake confidence and pray that your act is believable

Hope that the aging man outside hides the child within

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness we often say

Go ahead perceive my inaction for cowardice, I know better

I don’t fear you; I only fear making the wrong move

So my choice is to wait- react not overreact

Back me into a corner or in defense of a comrade

I’ll fight for what I believe in, I won’t back down

And should I fall, I’ll go down swinging

Fighting the good fight and keeping the faith